Toilets are miles away
Two men were at a football match and it was just seconds away from kick-off.
"Man," said the first man, "I'm bursting for a pee, and the toilets
are miles away"
"Don't worry," said the second man. "You see that bloke in front
of you? Just pee up his leg."
"Are you crazy?" said the first man, "that bloke's massive."
"Oh," said the second man, "he won't notice anything."
"How do you know?" said the first man.
"Because I've just peed up yours!" said the second man.